What Went Right?

As I was driving to work one morning, I was listening to the radio--Christian rock, for my positive vibes in the morning--and they mentioned a thought that really resonated with me. She said, "Everything could always be better." They went on to discuss how and when that thought comes into our minds, and it's normally when something goes wrong that we end up telling ourselves, "It could be better." But what if we told ourselves that all the time--even when things go right?

The reality is this: When something goes wrong, we accept that it happened and that we can't go back to change it. Then we analyze how it went wrong and what can be done in the future so it doesn't happen again. But when something goes right...typically, we pat ourselves on the back and don't think twice about it.

The idea they were sharing is this: When something goes right, analyze why it went right and what can be done in the future so it can happen that great again or even better.

In my world, I don't do that often enough...but it makes so much sense! I spend SO MUCH TIME focusing and analyzing what goes WRONG in my life, and spend SO MUCH ENERGY trying to fix it, and I spend so little time on what goes right. And I wonder why I'm so stressed out sometimes.

There will be many times in your life that something doesn't go your way. It may rain on your wedding day, your client meeting may not have gone as well as you planned, you may bomb a job interview, you may flunk a final test, you may not get into the top college on your list, you may lose a friend, your relationship may end, your marriage may be failing...life tests us too many times, in too many ways. And although I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, I also believe we all have a part to play in our journeys. And don't get me wrong--it is important to look back at the things that have gone wrong and look at how to better the situation going forward. The thought here isn't to stop that, it's to apply it to the good situations in our lives too. My team at work "debriefs" after large meetings to address what went wrong and what went right, and the information that comes out of it is always so helpful. I admit, it hurts when you have to accept that you can't go back and fix things (especially when it could've been so easy of a fix!), but now, that one easy fix becomes top-of-mind for next time, and your meetings after that will get closer and closer to flawlessness. (Cue Beyoncé.)

Relationships and marriages are the tough ones. You know that "new" feeling at the beginning of a relationship? That fun little honeymoon stage? That fun little temporary honeymoon stage? How great it was, right? If you took a minute today to look back at how and why you and your significant other started, what do you remember? Really focus on it. Block out the thoughts of "well it was great, we used to do this and that, and feel this way...but this led to that, then that happened, and it was because he/she was like this to begin with in the first place, and now it's all gone down the drain." Yeah don't do that. Think about how you used to show your love. What made it all work? What did you do to make it all work? Why were you such a great pair for each other in the first place? Too often, we wait until things go wrong in our relationships to start asking ourselves these questions. If we keep these thoughts at the top of our minds all throughout, and work to figure out and remember how our relationships work, we eliminate the guessing game if it breaks. You can't fix a car if you don't know how an engine works. If we never look at why something went so right, when it breaks, we don't know how to fix it because we never knew how it worked in the first place.

I just wanted to share this thought with you. It was a great piece of advice that I was fortunate to hear at the right time. Be blessed and happy Friday!!

Gifts & Glamour: Valentine's Day Ready!

Happy Super Bowl Sunday!! While the wings are in the oven and the steaks are on the grill, I'd thought I'd work on this post for ya. :) February is my favorite month!! My birthday is on the 9th, and the little extra attention I get five days after (Valentine's Day) is a little extra bonus. ;)

I have to admit, I get a little cheesy when it comes to Valentine's Day, especially since I had kids! BUT I also still keep it low key and budget friendly. I think all holidays are just more fun in general when you have small children--especially if you have boys! I am very lucky to have three valentines. :)

Soo I went a little pin crazy on my Valentine's Day Pinterest board. I wanted to share with you some of the things that have been inspiring me this Valentine's Day season. See below for my V-day Gifts and Glam picks, decor, and more!

V-day Gifts

I personally love the idea of making a Boudoir book. I think that's so cute for Valentine's Day, anniversary, or a birthday! It's creative, simple, and easy to do--and likely easy on the pockets if you choose to DIY it. And for the ladies, c'mon guys, jewelry is always a winner! Although I encourage jewels and diamonds, I've listed a few non-diamond options below for ya. ;)

      

V-day Glam
A few v-day outfits I love and a few specific items I'm eyeing...

  

V-day Decor
Although I tend to pack my tables for many of my events and tablescapes...I'm really a fan of simplicity. I think a simple, well-organized table makes any event or dinner special. You don't need a whole lot of stuff to make it look nice, you just need enough of the right stuff. And for Valentine's Day...I mean...you can't go wrong with roses. I also think an all white table (with white roses) would look nice too! Just don't spill the red wine. ;)

V-day Eats!
I had to post some vday food on here. I mean. Heart-shaped bacon. #FoodIsTheWayToAMansHeart

 

How cute is this for the kids?!

Valentine's Day isn't fun with a little cheesiness! (Pun Intended) ;)
What are you guys doing for Valentines Day? Whatever you choose to do or where ever you go, have fun! You'll find me in the movie theater watching 50 Shades of Grey. ;) Happy Valentine's Day!

ARTICLE REVIEW: 5 Ways You Are Unknowingly Destroying Your Wife and Killing Your Marriage

Hey there! Here's the thing. I don't plan on posting much about relationships or going into detail about my own, but I do like to share things that are helpful to me in case they'll be helpful to others as well.

Before you start getting all up in arms about me being biased and taking the sides of women everywhere, I'd like you to know that I DO THINK that many points in this article apply to both men and women. No matter what anyone says--with marriage, friendships, and any kind of relationships, it takes two.

This article is not the best that I've read about love and relationships, but here is why I thought it was good.

1. It shows the importance of balance in a relationship. Primarily on the man's side, but it shows it nonetheless. The article touches on the "fine line" that men have between being strong and being sensitive, which I think is fair. It mentions that since birth, men have been taught to be strong--don't cry, suck it up, protect and provide. Then when they get into a relationship, all of a sudden they have to be sensitive and caring. But they can't be too much of either because then they'll be less of the other. Balance.
2. It doesn't just describe what women need to be happy, but promotes understanding. A friend once told me that it is human nature to be selfish. I can see that. The point here is that the way you liked to be loved may not be the way your partner wants to be loved. I think when you're in a relationship, it's important to know the other person, know what their needs and expectations are, and know yourself enough to know if you can and are willing to fulfill them.

After reading this article, you'll see that that's the bottom line. To sum it all up, the five points in the article reflect the big idea: Make sure your partner knows that you love them and don't let them forget it. Learn to speak their love language and not just yours.

5 Ways You Are Unknowingly Destroying Your Wife and Killing Your Marraige
And so you know, there's one for women too: 5 Ways You Are Unknowingly Destroying Your Husband and Killing Your Marriage

Enjoy!