What Went Right?

As I was driving to work one morning, I was listening to the radio--Christian rock, for my positive vibes in the morning--and they mentioned a thought that really resonated with me. She said, "Everything could always be better." They went on to discuss how and when that thought comes into our minds, and it's normally when something goes wrong that we end up telling ourselves, "It could be better." But what if we told ourselves that all the time--even when things go right?

The reality is this: When something goes wrong, we accept that it happened and that we can't go back to change it. Then we analyze how it went wrong and what can be done in the future so it doesn't happen again. But when something goes right...typically, we pat ourselves on the back and don't think twice about it.

The idea they were sharing is this: When something goes right, analyze why it went right and what can be done in the future so it can happen that great again or even better.

In my world, I don't do that often enough...but it makes so much sense! I spend SO MUCH TIME focusing and analyzing what goes WRONG in my life, and spend SO MUCH ENERGY trying to fix it, and I spend so little time on what goes right. And I wonder why I'm so stressed out sometimes.

There will be many times in your life that something doesn't go your way. It may rain on your wedding day, your client meeting may not have gone as well as you planned, you may bomb a job interview, you may flunk a final test, you may not get into the top college on your list, you may lose a friend, your relationship may end, your marriage may be failing...life tests us too many times, in too many ways. And although I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, I also believe we all have a part to play in our journeys. And don't get me wrong--it is important to look back at the things that have gone wrong and look at how to better the situation going forward. The thought here isn't to stop that, it's to apply it to the good situations in our lives too. My team at work "debriefs" after large meetings to address what went wrong and what went right, and the information that comes out of it is always so helpful. I admit, it hurts when you have to accept that you can't go back and fix things (especially when it could've been so easy of a fix!), but now, that one easy fix becomes top-of-mind for next time, and your meetings after that will get closer and closer to flawlessness. (Cue Beyoncé.)

Relationships and marriages are the tough ones. You know that "new" feeling at the beginning of a relationship? That fun little honeymoon stage? That fun little temporary honeymoon stage? How great it was, right? If you took a minute today to look back at how and why you and your significant other started, what do you remember? Really focus on it. Block out the thoughts of "well it was great, we used to do this and that, and feel this way...but this led to that, then that happened, and it was because he/she was like this to begin with in the first place, and now it's all gone down the drain." Yeah don't do that. Think about how you used to show your love. What made it all work? What did you do to make it all work? Why were you such a great pair for each other in the first place? Too often, we wait until things go wrong in our relationships to start asking ourselves these questions. If we keep these thoughts at the top of our minds all throughout, and work to figure out and remember how our relationships work, we eliminate the guessing game if it breaks. You can't fix a car if you don't know how an engine works. If we never look at why something went so right, when it breaks, we don't know how to fix it because we never knew how it worked in the first place.

I just wanted to share this thought with you. It was a great piece of advice that I was fortunate to hear at the right time. Be blessed and happy Friday!!