Let me guess what you’re thinking…"Conceited much?…" It’s
okay, you can be honest. :) But this post isn’t about me talking about myself—I’m not about to go publish
my own rendition of “Selfish.” ;) But I will talk a little bit about why
everyone should become beautiful and how to do it.
This past weekend, I was privileged enough to attend an
inspiring and empowering brunch for women. It was called the “I AM ME Brunch,”
and it was hosted by a young female entrepreneur, Kristin “Krissy” Sutton, who
aspires to combine her love for fashion with her expertise in the mental health
profession, and ultimately reinvent Retail Therapy. The event brought women of
all ages and backgrounds together to network with each other, become inspired,
learn more about Krissy, her efforts and her brand…and eat. (Had to throw that
in there. Food was bomb.)
But the highlight of the event was the guest speaker—Christy Jones—a certified
relationship and life coach. And that day, she decided to talk to us about
being beautiful.
The unfortunate truth is only 2% of all women believe that
they’re beautiful. Most women do not, and often want to change something about
themselves. 2%!!!! I sat there, eyes wide, and listened her talk about that
statistic, then I thought, sure, I think I’m beautiful, but there are
definitely some things I want to change about myself.
She talked about life. She talked about love. Then she brought
up something that
really got me
thinking. She asked us when did life break our hearts?
Kind of a loaded question right? When we think about
heartbreak we think of relationships. Crying over old flames. But she was
aiming to get something out of us that was much deeper than surface pain. What
was the real reason we are hurt? Why do we keep our guard up in certain
situations? Or with certain people? What is the real reason for why we don’t
believe in ourselves?
For example, her answer was her weight. She was told at a
very young age that she was not skinny. Nobody directly said “you’re fat” and
they didn’t say anything in a mean way, but it was enough for her to create a
lie in her head: Because she wasn’t skinny, she wasn’t beautiful.
Throughout her life, she struggled
with her weight, and exhausted every effort to slim down in order to feel
beautiful. She explained how her vision was tainted because everything she did
was now evaluated through this “filter” that was created because of this lie.
In other words, she would always look for evidence to support the lie: “I
didn’t get that job because I was fat. He didn’t like me because he thinks I’m
fat. I can’t ever do this or do that because of my weight.”
The idea that was coming to my mind
was this: We as humans are relationship-oriented people. We look for
relationships with other people and among things. When we make decisions, we
want them to be justified. So when something happens to us that is out of our
control, we automatically try to find ways to justify why it happened—even if that reason is a complete lie. And often it
stems from a past experience that has affected us in a negative way, whether we
realize it or not. Here’s how she summed it up:
- We are born with a heart of truth
- Then life breaks our heart
- Disappointment sets in
- A lie is sown
- We look for evidence to support the lie
We need to stop that. So she then
went into how to leave the life of pain:
- Confront
the pain. Deliberately stand against it and decide to no longer let it
affect you.
- Uncover
the lie. Go deep into your subconscious and find out what is the root of
your pain. What keeps talking you out of your confidence and telling you that
you don’t deserve success and happiness?
- Heal
your heart. Give yourself time to heal and focus on living a life without
that lie in it.
- Identify
your value and self-worth. Learn what makes you beautiful and remind
yourself of it.
- Say
yes to yourself. Let go of the negativity. Instead of succumbing to reasons
why you can’t, create reasons for why you can.
Krissy’s brand,
KayKode, was
created around the thought that we literally wear our emotions on our sleeves.
She takes into the account the proven fact that what you wear affects your
mood, and strives to create pieces that boost confidence and promote healthy
living. In her career, she has provided therapeutic services to patients with
various mental illnesses, and she hopes to use those same skills to provide
clients with personal consultations and create wearable pieces—
Retail Therapy. Her “Kode of Ethics” are
well-being, strength, empathy, growth, authenticity, and advocacy. It became
very clear to me that her overall theme here is to help women see, feel (and
wear!) their beauty—help them to become beautiful.
Furthermore, when I say "beautiful" I'm referring to more than just appearances. Become a beautiful mind, a beautiful artist, a beautiful friend, a more beautiful person. The key is to build your confidence to feel like a more beautiful you.
At the end of the day, the answer is very simple. To become
beautiful, you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful. There is no one else on this Earth that can convince you except yourself. Believe it. Own it. Wear
it. Werk it. ;p You are you, and I Am Me, and we are truly beautiful.
Event Planner, Shamese Campbell, of Concepts with Character (Instagram: @cwc_eventdesign) & Krissy of KayKode (Instagram: @kaykode_)
Event Design
Concepts with Character
Guest Speaker
Christy Little Jones
Certified Relationship and Life Coach
Twitter: @ChristyInspires
