How to Become Beautiful

Let me guess what you’re thinking…"Conceited much?…" It’s okay, you can be honest. :) But this post isn’t about me talking about myself—I’m not about to go publish my own rendition of “Selfish.” ;) But I will talk a little bit about why everyone should become beautiful and how to do it.

This past weekend, I was privileged enough to attend an inspiring and empowering brunch for women. It was called the “I AM ME Brunch,” and it was hosted by a young female entrepreneur, Kristin “Krissy” Sutton, who aspires to combine her love for fashion with her expertise in the mental health profession, and ultimately reinvent Retail Therapy. The event brought women of all ages and backgrounds together to network with each other, become inspired, learn more about Krissy, her efforts and her brand…and eat. (Had to throw that in there. Food was bomb.) But the highlight of the event was the guest speaker—Christy Jones—a certified relationship and life coach. And that day, she decided to talk to us about being beautiful.

The unfortunate truth is only 2% of all women believe that they’re beautiful. Most women do not, and often want to change something about themselves. 2%!!!! I sat there, eyes wide, and listened her talk about that statistic, then I thought, sure, I think I’m beautiful, but there are definitely some things I want to change about myself.

She talked about life. She talked about love. Then she brought up something that really got me thinking. She asked us when did life break our hearts?

Kind of a loaded question right? When we think about heartbreak we think of relationships. Crying over old flames. But she was aiming to get something out of us that was much deeper than surface pain. What was the real reason we are hurt? Why do we keep our guard up in certain situations? Or with certain people? What is the real reason for why we don’t believe in ourselves?

For example, her answer was her weight. She was told at a very young age that she was not skinny. Nobody directly said “you’re fat” and they didn’t say anything in a mean way, but it was enough for her to create a lie in her head: Because she wasn’t skinny, she wasn’t beautiful.

Throughout her life, she struggled with her weight, and exhausted every effort to slim down in order to feel beautiful. She explained how her vision was tainted because everything she did was now evaluated through this “filter” that was created because of this lie. In other words, she would always look for evidence to support the lie: “I didn’t get that job because I was fat. He didn’t like me because he thinks I’m fat. I can’t ever do this or do that because of my weight.”

The idea that was coming to my mind was this: We as humans are relationship-oriented people. We look for relationships with other people and among things. When we make decisions, we want them to be justified. So when something happens to us that is out of our control, we automatically try to find ways to justify why it happened—even if that reason is a complete lie. And often it stems from a past experience that has affected us in a negative way, whether we realize it or not. Here’s how she summed it up:

• We are born with a heart of truth
• Then life breaks our heart
• Disappointment sets in
• A lie is sown
• We look for evidence to support the lie

We need to stop that. So she then went into how to leave the life of pain:

1. Confront the pain. Deliberately stand against it and decide to no longer let it affect you.
2. Uncover the lie. Go deep into your subconscious and find out what is the root of your pain. What keeps talking you out of your confidence and telling you that you don’t deserve success and happiness?
3. Heal your heart. Give yourself time to heal and focus on living a life without that lie in it.
4. Identify your value and self-worth. Learn what makes you beautiful and remind yourself of it.
5. Say yes to yourself. Let go of the negativity. Instead of succumbing to reasons why you can’t, create reasons for why you can.

Krissy’s brand, KayKode, was created around the thought that we literally wear our emotions on our sleeves. She takes into the account the proven fact that what you wear affects your mood, and strives to create pieces that boost confidence and promote healthy living. In her career, she has provided therapeutic services to patients with various mental illnesses, and she hopes to use those same skills to provide clients with personal consultations and create wearable pieces—Retail Therapy. Her “Kode of Ethics” are well-being, strength, empathy, growth, authenticity, and advocacy. It became very clear to me that her overall theme here is to help women see, feel (and wear!) their beauty—help them to become beautiful.

Furthermore, when I say "beautiful" I'm referring to more than just appearances. Become a beautiful mind, a beautiful artist, a beautiful friend, a more beautiful person. The key is to build your confidence to feel like a more beautiful you.

At the end of the day, the answer is very simple. To become beautiful, you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful. There is no one else on this Earth that can convince you except yourself. Believe it. Own it. Wear it. Werk it. ;p You are you, and I Am Me, and we are truly beautiful.

Event Planner, Shamese Campbell, of Concepts with Character (Instagram: @cwc_eventdesign) & Krissy of KayKode (Instagram: @kaykode_)

KayKode
www.KayKode.com

Event Design

Concepts with Character

www.cwceventdesign.com

Guest Speaker

Christy Little Jones
Certified Relationship and Life Coach

Twitter: @ChristyInspires

HIT OR MISS Product Review: Clarisonic and New Face Cleansers

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a restful weekend. A few weeks ago, I went to Sephora to spend a gift card that I've had for about a year now. Side note: The one thing I can't stand about gift cards is that I always feel like I have one chance to use that money, so I want to spend it wisely--which ends in me holding onto it forever!! Does anyone else get like that? Lol

Anyway, I used it to FINALLY buy myself a Clarisonic!! I've been wanting one for about ohhh maybe 2 years now? Haha but I have been going back and forth about getting one because I wanted to make sure I was going to use it and love it. And I do :)

While I was there, I decided to get a few samples. Okay, I actually went a little sample crazy! I'm sure the lady that helped me was sick of me by the time I got out of there (an hour later), but she was really helpful! (Thanks, Rachel!)

Product Reviews

CLARISONIC Mia 2: This is a HIT! I went with the Mia 2 because it came with deluxe samples for the same price as the Mia 2 by itself ($149). It also came with a travel case. I've been using the Clarisonic for about 2-3 weeks now, once a day, 3 days a week. So far I love it! My skin is very sensitive, so I was afraid that the Clarisonic was going to be too rough for my face. The brush came with the "Sensitive Brush Head," so I felt better about it. I don't use the brush everyday because I don't want it to irritate my skin. I definitely consider it a "deep cleaning" as opposed to a daily cleaning.

• Pros:
• My skin feels very clean and smooth. My face feels refreshed after!
• My skin looks brighter.
• It doesn't dry out my skin, which is surprising, because my face gets really dry and tight in the winter.
• It opens my pores, and therefore my face absorbs serums and moisturizers a whole lot better after I use the Clarisonic.

• Cons:
• The sensitive brush is not as soft and gentle and I thought it was going to be. I would advise that you don't use so much pressure while using it. For me, simply holding it to my face with very little pressure does the job.
• The low speed is definitely fast enough for me! I wish there was one more speed that was lower than that.
• The Clarisonic beeps when you've spent enough time working on each part of your face, then shuts off completely when the entire minute is up. It took a while to get used to this because you have to move it around your face quick enough before time is up! (It's supposed to be 20 seconds on your forehead, 20 sec on nose and chin, and 10 sec on each cheek.)

REN Evercalm Gentle Cleansing Milk: This is a MISS. I liked this product, but wasn't crazy about it. It is what you think it is: Milky. It's thicker than most facial cleansers that I've tried--kind of creamy. It also has a scent that's hard to describe--it's not bad, but it's not good either. It did do the job, and left my skin feeling clean and moisturized. I say that because some cleansers leave your skin feeling dry right after you use them. With this one, I felt like I didn't even have to put moisturizer on afterwards. It was luxurious and smooth, and worked well with the Clarisonic, but I liked it better just using my hands. However, I wasn't fan of the after-smell and didn't want to use it again after that.

Fresh - Soy Face Cleanser: This is a HIT! It smells and feels amazing. It's pretty light (it's a gel), so I would prefer using it with the Clarisonic as opposed to my hands. It instantly left my skin feeling very refreshed and dewey. One time I used it without using makeup remover first and it removed my makeup pretty well. The soy proteins in it is meant to support moisture retention, which is especially important for me during the winter months! The smell is probably the best part. It smells like cucumber!

First Aid Face Cleanser: This is a MISS. The texture is like a silky foam. It's very light and airy, and I feel it didn't spread well across my face, especially with the Clarisonic. I felt like I kept having to put on more and more to fully cover my face. It also wasn't as moisturizing. I sampled this because it got great reviews, but I wasn't impressed.

Philosophy 'Purity Made Simple': This is a HIT! This is one of the deluxe sample products that came with the Clarisonic. It works VERY well with the Clarisonic or even just with your hands. It has somewhat of a thicker, milky texture, and it goes on very smooth and lathers very well. It didn't dry out my skin. My face actually felt very clean and moisturized afterwards. It has a soothing smell, similar to that of the Fresh Soy Face Cleanser, which is nice. Since I got such a large sample of it, I've been using it everyday! It's made to hydrate and tone your face. I didn't realize that you can also clean your makeup brushes with it as well. That's a nice bonus! :)

So that's my scoop. :) What are products that you recommend? I'll be playing guinea pig again with a few more products soon. Gotta visit my new friend Rachel at Sephora and bug her for more samples. ;)

Mama on the Go! My 5-Minute Morning Makeup

Hello and happy MLK day! One of the greatest challenges I find as a Mom is finding time for yourself. I realize this every morning as I scramble to get up out of bed and ready for work, or church, or just to get out of the house. Hence, why...if you notice...my last few posts have been around 10 or 11 o'clock at night after the kiddies go to bed. Anyway, on an average day, I'll have about 30-45 minutes max to get up and get ready before the kids either hear me and wake up or wake up on their own. So today I thought I'd share my 5 minute morning makeup routine.

Those who know me know that I do NOT like to cake on makeup. For special occasions, YES, definitely. But not on an everyday basis. It's not that I don't like a flawless face...I mean, who doesn't want the illusion of perfect skin and big bright eyes at 5 o'clock in the morning? I just don't have time to paint on that look every morning or to erase it off my face every night!! So I had to find ways to do the bare minimum in 10 minutes or less (and that includes hair time).

My focus is on my face (under the eyes, cheeks, skin). I have bags and dark circles for days. Over the past two years or so I have greatly upgraded my skin care regimen (meaning I started one, finally.), and that has helped TREMENDOUSLY. Those that know me also know that I am a freak about having good skin care products nowadays. More posts to come about that in the near future. Anyways, my main goal when putting on makeup on the fly is to cover the flaws on my face and brighten it up a bit. I want my everyday makeup to look as natural as possible.

Below is a snapshot of the products I normally use.

Benefit Erase Paste: You can call this product my best friend. I use it to cover the dark circles and bags under my eyes, blemishes, and other small imperfections. It goes on light pink but blends nicely with my skin tone. It also serves as a bit of a highlighter since it brightens up parts of my face (mainly under the eye/just above my cheek bone) as it covers dark spots. ;) The shade I use is Medium.

"Hello Flawless!" Oxygen Wow Liquid Foundation: I use one shade lighter than my skin tone to achieve a quick and easy brightening effect. I only use it on the center of my face--one swipe under each eye/above each cheek bone, one swipe down my chin, one swipe up the bridge of my nose and on top of each brow, and one subtle swipe down my nose. Then I blend it all in starting from the center of my face outward. It's a very light foundation, blends great, and doesn't start feeling cakey and clumpy if I sweat (great for when it's hot outside or when I go to the gym). This foundation also contains Vitamins C and E, and has SPF 25. The shade I use is "'I'm So Money!' Honey."

Smashbox Halo Hydrating Perfecting Powder: This powder is quite costly but I don't care, I will spend the money for it!! It is an anti-aging powder that has minerals that hydrate and revitalize your skin as you wear it. This powder is amazing. It makes my skin look so smooth and effortless. It's lightweight, and you don't need much at all to get the flawless effect that you want. Let's say I don't have five minutes, I have more liiiike....one. Yanno, it's like that sometimes. I wear this powder by itself and it does the job! The shade I use is Medium.

e.l.f. Contouring Blush and Bronzing Powder: So I came across e.l.f. products when I was in a rush to get to a dinner after work and I needed blush and bronzer. I stopped by Target and had picked up anything that was cheap and it turned out to be this. I love it! It provides a soft, subtle touch of color to my face, which is all I need for work and my everyday look. It's not my go-to blush for going out (I like UB Naked Flushed), but it gets the job done and it doesn't hurt the bank. :)

Urban Decay Naked Palette: I love the UB Naked Palette because it has a good collection of neutral shades that complement my skin tone. It's very well pigmented so I don't have to use much to get the effect I want. I normally use only 3-4 colors out of the entire palette for my everyday look (I should really just get Naked Basics and call it a day). I go with a dark color (Darkhorse or Creep) on the outer lid and crease, a light color (Virgin) on the inner lid, and a gold or shimmery color (Half Baked or Sidecar) on the middle lid, then finish with black eye liner. If I am REALLY in a rush, I don't spend too much time on my eye shadow. Instead, I'll just put a little extra eye liner on my outer lids and smudge it to create a very subtle (and quick) smokey eye! Easy-peasy.

Lastly, I top it off with Burts Bees lip balm and call it a day! --P.S. my kids (and my man) love that I don't wear lipstick all the time because it doesn't leave red kiss marks all over their faces when I kiss them good-bye! Lol :p

Here's a few shots I took of my natural, subtle, 5-Minute Makeup for the Mama on the Go.

...Excuse my Kim K. cheek bone pose at the end. I had to do it. ;)

    

Hope you all are enjoying the holiday!

My Solutions for Dry Skin and Eczema

It's official. The winter weather is upon us...at least those that live on the Northeast coast of the United States. It has been fah-reezing outside!! And with the cold weather comes dry air and dry skin--the two main reasons why winter is not my favorite season.

So I have eczema, and for those that have it or are familiar with it, you know that there are some good times (ok, not really) and some really really bad times. EVERY winter is a really really bad time for my eczema, and unfortunately, I passed that gene along to both of my kids.

Out of all of us, the baby has it the worst. Since he was born, he had inflamed, infected eczema all over his body. From 2-6 months he also had infected cradle cap down the sides of his face. It didn't help that he was born in late October, right before the cold weather came. That only made it flare up more, which prompted him to scratch more, which in turn made it more infected. It was a vicious cycle.

Anyway, we turned to doctors and eventually dermatologists, and no one could find a long term solution for his eczema/dry skin. We all have used hydrocortisone, other stronger steroid creams and ointments, non-steroid creams, oatmeal baths, Aquaphor, Cetaphil, Eucerin...you name it, we tried it. We even tried putting Crisco (yes I mean the cooking grease) on his face (per recommendation)! Believe it or not that actually worked!

Everything was temporary until, thanks to a good friend of ours, we finally found something that worked--Cetaphil Restoraderm Eczema Calming lotion. I LOVE this lotion. I'm guessing a lot of people do, because it's always sold out in the Targets and Walmarts near me. It's about $12-$14 a bottle, but trust me, it's worth it! It cleared up my baby's skin within a week, and I started seeing and feeling results almost instantly.

What was great about this situation is that since Jacob is a baby, his body heals very fast. It's sooo great that babies' bodies can heal minor cuts, bruises, and scratches so fast!! That helped speed things up tremendously. We would put the lotion on him every night, before we left the house in the morning, throughout the day as needed, and ESPECIALLY right after his baths, when all his pores were open. The healing effect it had on his skin was immediate and long lasting. I started using it on my skin as well instead of the hydrocortisone because I prefer non-steroid ointments as much as possible.

Below are links to the Restoraderm products. I've only tried the lotion but I heard the body wash works good as well, and I plan on trying that next. If you see a dermatologist, see if they have coupons for it. Mine gave me a few $1 off coupons for some of the products. :) I have to thank my good friends Jaz and Dave for this one! You guys have really saved my household this winter!! :D