What Went Right?

As I was driving to work one morning, I was listening to the radio--Christian rock, for my positive vibes in the morning--and they mentioned a thought that really resonated with me. She said, "Everything could always be better." They went on to discuss how and when that thought comes into our minds, and it's normally when something goes wrong that we end up telling ourselves, "It could be better." But what if we told ourselves that all the time--even when things go right?

The reality is this: When something goes wrong, we accept that it happened and that we can't go back to change it. Then we analyze how it went wrong and what can be done in the future so it doesn't happen again. But when something goes right...typically, we pat ourselves on the back and don't think twice about it.

The idea they were sharing is this: When something goes right, analyze why it went right and what can be done in the future so it can happen that great again or even better.

In my world, I don't do that often enough...but it makes so much sense! I spend SO MUCH TIME focusing and analyzing what goes WRONG in my life, and spend SO MUCH ENERGY trying to fix it, and I spend so little time on what goes right. And I wonder why I'm so stressed out sometimes.

There will be many times in your life that something doesn't go your way. It may rain on your wedding day, your client meeting may not have gone as well as you planned, you may bomb a job interview, you may flunk a final test, you may not get into the top college on your list, you may lose a friend, your relationship may end, your marriage may be failing...life tests us too many times, in too many ways. And although I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, I also believe we all have a part to play in our journeys. And don't get me wrong--it is important to look back at the things that have gone wrong and look at how to better the situation going forward. The thought here isn't to stop that, it's to apply it to the good situations in our lives too. My team at work "debriefs" after large meetings to address what went wrong and what went right, and the information that comes out of it is always so helpful. I admit, it hurts when you have to accept that you can't go back and fix things (especially when it could've been so easy of a fix!), but now, that one easy fix becomes top-of-mind for next time, and your meetings after that will get closer and closer to flawlessness. (Cue Beyoncé.)

Relationships and marriages are the tough ones. You know that "new" feeling at the beginning of a relationship? That fun little honeymoon stage? That fun little temporary honeymoon stage? How great it was, right? If you took a minute today to look back at how and why you and your significant other started, what do you remember? Really focus on it. Block out the thoughts of "well it was great, we used to do this and that, and feel this way...but this led to that, then that happened, and it was because he/she was like this to begin with in the first place, and now it's all gone down the drain." Yeah don't do that. Think about how you used to show your love. What made it all work? What did you do to make it all work? Why were you such a great pair for each other in the first place? Too often, we wait until things go wrong in our relationships to start asking ourselves these questions. If we keep these thoughts at the top of our minds all throughout, and work to figure out and remember how our relationships work, we eliminate the guessing game if it breaks. You can't fix a car if you don't know how an engine works. If we never look at why something went so right, when it breaks, we don't know how to fix it because we never knew how it worked in the first place.

I just wanted to share this thought with you. It was a great piece of advice that I was fortunate to hear at the right time. Be blessed and happy Friday!!

That Moment I Lived the HI Life

A few weeks ago, I took a trip to Hawaii to visit my best friend. I took the trip alone, which seemed crazy to me, but I couldn't take the kids with me for a few reasons, and I needed some R&R anyway. And what better place to do it than the beautiful Aloha State? ;)

As most people that visit Hawaii say, it is be-a-u-tiful, and for me, it was more than I imagined it to be. I spent one week there, and it was not long enough! There was too much to see, too much to do, too much to EAT. I left really wishing that I had time to do more, but all in all it was a great trip. I mean--I can't complain too much...after all, I got to go to Hawaii!

Being with my bestie satisfied some much needed girl time (that I didn't even realize I needed!). Ever got caught up in life so much you don't even have the time to realize that you need a break?? That was me. Not that I'm complaining, I love my life and I love to stay active and busy...but what a relief it was to slow down and take time for myself! I spent a week on an island with a new culture, knowing only ONE person on that entire island, driving along long windy roads along the coast (traffic sucked, but it is what it is), eating new food, meeting really nice people, and experiencing picture perfect views EVERYWHERE! And the cutest little island babies! The kids were just too adorable. (And now I really want to teach my kids how to surf.)

But what this trip really opened my eyes to is how to fully live in and accept every moment--each moment--one at a time. I realized that no matter how good or bad a moment is, they are all temporary. They don't last. And you can ruin a great moment by putting all your effort into trying to make it last, or putting all your thoughts towards how you're going to cope when that moment ends. Stopping that habit was the best thing I've done for myself, and it was a great life lesson. The truth of the matter is, I need to learn how to best experience things. Not think ahead or look behind, just take it for what it is and let it be just that. Here's an excerpt from an article a friend shared with me. This for me, sums it all up:

Enjoy now fully. No matter how much time you have in an experience or with someone you love, it will never feel like enough. So don’t think about it in terms of quantity—aim for quality, instead. Attach to the idea of living well moment-to-moment. That’s an attachment that can do you no harm.

Quality over quantity--why didn't I think of that before?! It makes so much sense now. I put so much effort into creating moments; rather than making them last, I need to make the most out of them. So that's what I did for the rest of my trip. Enjoy my collection of moments below. ;)

1. Amazing sunsets.

 

2. Amazing views!

3. Local food to feed the foodie in me! I have to admit--I didn't take a picture of each plate like I wanted to. I didn't wanna be "that girl"! Lol! (Regretting it now.)

4. Catamaran with new friends. Blue water. Just...really blue water.

 



5. Experiencing nature at its finest. Double rainbows, lava tubes, and exotic beaches

We walked through this...

To get to this!

Mermaid Cove

Green Sand Beach.
This was a sight to see, as there are only two in the world! The sand is a green/olive color, and it got its color from olivine crystals created from a volcano eruption many years ago.

6. Driving new cars! ;) --and off-roading. Forreal. We had some bumpy rides on the Big Island. But it made for a better experience! Let's just say, you can't make it to Green Sand Beach, or a lot of other nice places on Big Island without a 4WD.

  


7. Cliff jumping! I am afraid of heights, but I managed to do this. This was a big accomplishment for me! Although, I'm not as ballsy as the chick in the bottom pic. Props to her but I'm not on that level yet! :p

Spitting Caves

Of course there are many more pictures, but I thought I'd share the most memorable ones with you. Plus, I tried to stop myself from going too snap-crazy everywhere I went since I was trying to enjoy the moment and all. ;)

Wait...one more...this is just fitting for this post. :) Aloha!