Beauty and The Balance: June 2015

Let me guess what you’re thinking…"Conceited much?…" It’s okay, you can be honest. :) But this post isn’t about me talking about myself—I’m not about to go publish my own rendition of “Selfish.” ;) But I will talk a little bit about why everyone should become beautiful and how to do it.

This past weekend, I was privileged enough to attend an inspiring and empowering brunch for women. It was called the “I AM ME Brunch,” and it was hosted by a young female entrepreneur, Kristin “Krissy” Sutton, who aspires to combine her love for fashion with her expertise in the mental health profession, and ultimately reinvent Retail Therapy. The event brought women of all ages and backgrounds together to network with each other, become inspired, learn more about Krissy, her efforts and her brand…and eat. (Had to throw that in there. Food was bomb.) But the highlight of the event was the guest speaker—Christy Jones—a certified relationship and life coach. And that day, she decided to talk to us about being beautiful.

The unfortunate truth is only 2% of all women believe that they’re beautiful. Most women do not, and often want to change something about themselves. 2%!!!! I sat there, eyes wide, and listened her talk about that statistic, then I thought, sure, I think I’m beautiful, but there are definitely some things I want to change about myself.

She talked about life. She talked about love. Then she brought up something that really got me thinking. She asked us when did life break our hearts?

Kind of a loaded question right? When we think about heartbreak we think of relationships. Crying over old flames. But she was aiming to get something out of us that was much deeper than surface pain. What was the real reason we are hurt? Why do we keep our guard up in certain situations? Or with certain people? What is the real reason for why we don’t believe in ourselves?

For example, her answer was her weight. She was told at a very young age that she was not skinny. Nobody directly said “you’re fat” and they didn’t say anything in a mean way, but it was enough for her to create a lie in her head: Because she wasn’t skinny, she wasn’t beautiful.

Throughout her life, she struggled with her weight, and exhausted every effort to slim down in order to feel beautiful. She explained how her vision was tainted because everything she did was now evaluated through this “filter” that was created because of this lie. In other words, she would always look for evidence to support the lie: “I didn’t get that job because I was fat. He didn’t like me because he thinks I’m fat. I can’t ever do this or do that because of my weight.”

The idea that was coming to my mind was this: We as humans are relationship-oriented people. We look for relationships with other people and among things. When we make decisions, we want them to be justified. So when something happens to us that is out of our control, we automatically try to find ways to justify why it happened—even if that reason is a complete lie. And often it stems from a past experience that has affected us in a negative way, whether we realize it or not. Here’s how she summed it up:

We are born with a heart of truth
Then life breaks our heart
Disappointment sets in
A lie is sown
We look for evidence to support the lie

We need to stop that. So she then went into how to leave the life of pain:

Confront the pain. Deliberately stand against it and decide to no longer let it affect you.
Uncover the lie. Go deep into your subconscious and find out what is the root of your pain. What keeps talking you out of your confidence and telling you that you don’t deserve success and happiness?
Heal your heart. Give yourself time to heal and focus on living a life without that lie in it.
Identify your value and self-worth. Learn what makes you beautiful and remind yourself of it.
Say yes to yourself. Let go of the negativity. Instead of succumbing to reasons why you can’t, create reasons for why you can.

Krissy’s brand, KayKode, was created around the thought that we literally wear our emotions on our sleeves. She takes into the account the proven fact that what you wear affects your mood, and strives to create pieces that boost confidence and promote healthy living. In her career, she has provided therapeutic services to patients with various mental illnesses, and she hopes to use those same skills to provide clients with personal consultations and create wearable pieces—Retail Therapy. Her “Kode of Ethics” are well-being, strength, empathy, growth, authenticity, and advocacy. It became very clear to me that her overall theme here is to help women see, feel (and wear!) their beauty—help them to become beautiful.

Furthermore, when I say "beautiful" I'm referring to more than just appearances. Become a beautiful mind, a beautiful artist, a beautiful friend, a more beautiful person. The key is to build your confidence to feel like a more beautiful you.

At the end of the day, the answer is very simple. To become beautiful, you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful. There is no one else on this Earth that can convince you except yourself. Believe it. Own it. Wear it. Werk it. ;p You are you, and I Am Me, and we are truly beautiful.